The Comforter

You know you’re worried when you wake up worried. When your first waking thought is stressful. I have to admit that even my subconscious has been keyed up and anxious for the past 18 days.

Yes, I have faith and I’ve been putting that faith into action through almost constant prayer. But my psyche and my body are screaming “stress” even while my mind and spirit are saying “trust”.  I really wish we weren’t so complicated.

For the first 10 days following the earthquake in Japan, waking up in a panic was kind of understandable. Aftershocks woke me up several times a night and served as a very effective alarm clock each morning.

Since arriving in the U.S. on the 11^th day, my first waking thought has been “Japan!" Before even brushing my teeth or going to the bathroom, I’ve rushed to the internet to see if there have been any new developments. What is the death toll? How many aftershocks? Another big quake? Any more tsunami generated? Is Tokyo glowing yet from radiation? Any emails or calls from my husband? Morning by morning, the news has been, in turn, reassuring and alarming.

In the past 2-1/2 weeks, I have dealt with:  a huge earthquake, hundreds of aftershocks, a tsunami, a nuclear disaster, a hurried evacuation, a 30 hour international trip, jet lag, numerous speaking engagements, the death of my favorite aunt, and then yesterday an entire day of rather unsettling doctor’s appointments. (No, I'm not ready to talk about that yet.) Someone asked me how I’m feeling, and, to tell you the truth, I don’t even know. Numb maybe. Anxious certainly.

And how are my girls? Better, though still working through some stuff. Still having nightmares, but not every night now.

And then this morning, my very first thought somewhere between waking and sleeping was, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be
troubled, neither let it be afraid." (Either the Holy Spirit speaks King James English, or I memorized this one in KJV -- or both:)

I snuggled down under the comforter and felt very comforted! The internet could wait, I decided. For a few wonderful minutes, I allowed myself to snuggle with my true Beloved.

P.S. Thanks for praying!