Milestones

I experienced childbirth 5 times, and each time was memorable. One of the strangest scenes, though, occurred while laboring to bring baby #3, Amy Hope, into the world. The doctor decided it was time before Amy did, so he medically induced labor. With that powerful drug dripping into my veins, the contractions were coming hard and fast. And then the strangest thing happened: the IV bag emptied, and the pains completely stopped. I mean, I was lying on the delivery table, fully dilated and ready for the final push, when I suddenly felt absolutely no pain at all. My kind Japanese doctor actually allowed me a few minutes of blissful pain-free rest, chatting with me about this and that. Then, he looked at the clock and said, "Are you ready? It's time!" I thought, "Are you kidding?!" Really? -- WHO in their right mind would CHOOSE to resume the pain? It was inevitable, though, and sure enough, as soon as that evil liquid began dripping again, I was wracked with excruciating pain. A few minutes later, it was over and my beautiful baby girl was in my arms!

This week, I was recalling that surreal memory as I walked through Amy's graduation from Christian Academy in Japan. On Friday, she walked across the stage, moved her tassle, tossed her cap, and received numerous awards. On Monday, we will be packing up her room in preparation for her heading to another continent to begin college and whatever life holds for her beyond. A couple of days before commencement, I heard that OB-Gyn's voice in my head: "Are you ready? It's time!" And, just like on that afternoon 18 years ago, 1 month, and 24 days ago, I wanted to scream "No!"

A wise pastor once told me something that I have relied upon as I've watched 3 of my children leave the nest. A baby is in a mother's womb for 9 months, give or take. For that set period of time, it is the safest, most efficient place for growth and development. However, if baby stays much longer than 9 months, its growth is stunted and things start to go wrong. Mother and baby both grow increasingly uncomfortable and... well, it's just TIME! Similarly, a child grows safely and efficiently in our home for 18 years, give or take. But, if the time stretches much longer than that, growth is stunted, and the child ceases to thrive. She's grown as much as she can in this environment, and it's time to let her go.

I can't believe the ways she's grown! This baby was the one with the worst case of separation anxiety! She would NOT stay in a church nursery without me! She has now traveled to 3 continents and volunteered for every adventure and ministry opportunity afforded her. This was my sickliest child, hospitalized repeatedly for asthma, psneumonia, and other respiratory conditions. She is now 5'8", a beautiful picture of glowing health and youth, loves voleyball and runs a fairly fast mile. This child was so stricken with shyness that she once ended up running to the church restroom and BAWLING through an entire worship hour because she choked on a solo. This Spring, I watched as she organized and produced a charity concert for tsunami survivors, marveling at her poise as she sang not one but several original songs for her audience. (She received an award for that one at graduation, by the way!)

Her daddy and I were delighted to see her give her heart to Jesus as a child. He baptized her in a Tokyo church on Easter Sunday when she was 8. We've rejoiced to watch as her faith has blossomed into an authentic relationship with Jesus. We've answered as many questions as we could, and been stumped and stunned by the honesty and increasing difficulty of her mind's musings. On graduation night, we shed a few thankful tears as the Bible department blessed her with a scholarship for her "understanding and application of Scripture to daily life."

"I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord." All of the sickness, separation anxiety, and shyness have been used to shape Amy into a compassionate and caring friend. God seems to have gifted her with both empathy and the ability to encourage others. She's had more opportunities to use that gift than many her age. High school has brought the death of our next-door neighbor and 2 classmates (car accident, brain aneuryism, and motorcycle wreck). Amy was the little girl who hyperventilated, vomited, and almost passed out at her grandma's funeral. But last year, she was able to help her friend who was eye-witness to a suicide. She has worked near-magic in calming down her little sister many times when I have run out of ideas. She has been a camp counselor, a middle school mentor, and an accountability partner to younger students. Oh, and then there was that earthquake, tsunami, and nuclear disaster. She's made 3 trips to the disaster area, playing with kindergarteners, doing "mud-outs" at damaged homes, restoring damaged photographs, passing out water...

My curly-headed little Shirley Temple look-alike has grown into a lovely young woman. To try to hold on to her at this point would be both detrimental and ridiculous. It is time for my Amy Hope to step into the next phase of her life. It hurts my heart, I won't lie. I will miss her like crazy. But I am confident that God has plans to prosper her and to give her a future and a hope! I take a deep breath, and I am ready. It's time!